Coping With a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- Shedeur Deion Sanders, the 23-year-old son of bladder cancer survivor Deion Sanders, the head football coach at the University of Colorado Boulder, has shared that he’s been able to maintain focus on his beloved sport and goals amid his dad’s cancer journey.
- Bladder cancer develops when cells that make up the urinary bladder grow and eventually become tumors. Although Deion had no symptoms, common symptoms of the disease include frequent or painful urination or blood in urine.
- SurvivorNet experts say surgery for bladder cancer often offers the best chance for a cure. Depending on the aggressiveness of your tumor, cystoscopy (a procedure to see inside the bladder and urethra) will be required to check the area once a year or as frequently as every few months for the first few years after treatment.
- Speaking on how people respond to a stressful life event, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet, “The way people respond is very variable. Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
- When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, and there should be no shame in that.
His dad, a Hall of Famer and current head football coach at the University of Colorado Boulder, recently went public with his cancer news—admitting he initially kept all the details of his health struggle from his two sons [Shedeur and Shilo] as they start their NFL journeys.
Read More“It was something that we really ain’t need to have no formal conversation about, because it was like, ‘Y’all need to focus on what y’all need to focus on. Y’all can’t sit here and feel sorry for me.’ … We all knew because our family be talking in group chats and everything.”
Shedeur Sanders was asked what the last few months have been like with his father’s health status pic.twitter.com/HqJUuLTq73
— Daniel Oyefusi (@DanielOyefusi) August 4, 2025
Additionally, although his dad is now “cancer-free” he still doesn’t want him to come see his practices just yet.
He said, “I don’t want him coming to see me right now, because I want to get to where I want to go then for him to see me. I don’t want him to come and see me, get a couple reps and, you know, he’s cheering like a good dad. Like, nah, you can’t be proud of me right now. I gotta get to where I’m going, and I know it’s a lot I got to do to get there.
“I just want everything that I’m doing… just focus on this time, and I don’t want no distraction. Because we know, with the media, we know how everybody would take it and take away from the team, just from him being my own dad showing up. So, you know, it’s a gift and a curse at the same time.”
#Browns Shedeur Sanders on why he doesn’t want his dad Deion to come to practice yet: pic.twitter.com/wGVa5M9e2R
— Mary Kay Cabot (@MaryKayCabot) August 4, 2025
Speaking on Monday to Cleveland 14 News, Shedeur said, in response to his placement on the roster,”How do I block out the noise? I’ve always faced adversity since growing up. Each level, it’s always been something. When you figure out how people come at you … life is a cycle, it keeps repeating over, over and over, then you understand what game this is or what they’re doing.
“I can never feel less than. Nobody can ever make me mentally get out of position in the situation I’m in.”
He continued, “I’m thankful for who I am, I’m thankful for who my Dad is, I’m thankful for my family. No one can make me feel bad about the blessings I do have.”
Shedeur’s words come shortly after Deion recently admitted that he didn’t want to overwhelm his sons with his health issues so that they wouldn’t be distracted.
“My sons, to this day, don’t know what transpired, I just told them it was something with my foot, because I wanted to give them the focus on making the team and not focused on dad,” he explained.
Further expressing his determination to spread awareness, he said, “Let’s stop being ashamed of it. Let’s deal with it and let’s deal with it head on.”
Deion described his his cancer journey as “dynamic and tough,” insisting, “It wasn’t a cakewalk. It wasn’t easy. That was a fight, but we made it.”
Coach Prime’s Bladder Cancer Journey
Last month, Deion Sanders encouraged everyone to prioritize their health and get regular checkups, following his own difficult battle with an aggressive form of bladder cancer. Despite the challenge, he is preparing to return to the sidelines and coach this upcoming college football season.
Aside from struggling with a 25-pound weight loss, needing a urostomy bag [a medical device used to collect urine after bladder surgery] and a catheter, in addition to being tasked with preparing a will—Deion has remained optimistic during this difficult period and is now sharing his experience to inspire others to prioritize regular health screenings.
Speaking at a news conference, the dad of two, said, “Please get yourself checked out. Especially African-American men … we don’t like going to the doctor, we don’t like nothing to do with the doctor, you know that.
“So I’m not just talking to the brothers, I’m taking to my Caucasian brothers, my Hispanic brothers, my Asian brothers, my … everybody and my sisters. And that’s all of y’all.”
He continued, “Get checked out, because it could have been a whole ‘nother gathering if I hadn’t. I’m thankful, it’s been a tremendous journey,” noting he lost a substantial amount of pounds and joking, “I was like Atlanta Falcons Prime at one point.”
“Please get yourself checked out… because it could have been a whole other gathering if I hadn’t.”@DeionSanders shares a message to everyone during his health update press conference ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/QBi2v8Ri2L
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) July 28, 2025
After a routine scan, doctors discovered a “very high-grade, malignant tumor” in Deion’ bladder—something he says showed no prior symptoms and was only caught because he had been proactive about his health. As a result, he ultimately underwent surgery to have his bladder removed.
During a press conference, Dr. Janet Kukreja, Director of Urological Oncology at UCHealth, explained that the tumor was aggressive and had penetrated the bladder wall, but had not yet reached the muscle layer—a condition classified as very high-risk, non-muscle invasive bladder cancer.
To eliminate the cancer and reduce the risk of recurrence, Deion opted for a laparoscopic procedure to remove the tumor entirely and have a new bladder constructed. This approach successfully made him cancer-free.
Coping With a Loved One’s Cancer Diagnosis:
We admire how Coach Prime’s sons were able to maintain their focus on the goals they had around the time of their dad’s bladder cancer diagnosis, and their families ability to communicate through adversity. Coping with a diagnosis involves a range of emotions from anger to sadness and everything in between.
Sarah Stapleton, a licensed clinical social worker, encourages cancer warriors and their families to be “patient with your emotions.”
It’s also important that you understand how you communicate with your providers, but also with your loved ones,” Stapleton said. “We can’t always assume that people know what we need at a given time, and there are going to be times when you don’t want to speak about your diagnosis and you don’t want to speak about cancer.
Expert Resources On Coping With a Cancer Diagnosis
- Taylor Swift Speaks Up About What It’s Like To Have A Parent With Cancer
- Facing a Cancer Diagnosis as a Single Parent: ‘I Knew I Had to Fight for My Life’
- SN & You Presents Mental Health: Coping With Emotions
- ‘How Much Will It Cost?’: A Guide to Coping With the Cost of Cancer Treatment
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- A Cancer Survivor’s Ode To Friends and Family: “My Support System Helped Me Heal”
- Telling Your Kids You Have Cancer: “When it Comes to Your Kids, You Want to Protect Them”
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously explained to SurvivorNet some tips for cancer warriors and their caregivers for managing emotions after a diagnosis. She emphasized getting extra support from loved ones.
WATCH: Sharing details about your cancer diagnosis.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friend circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” Dr. Plutchik said. “But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional.”
“Patients who have just been diagnosed with cancer sometimes wonder how they are going to handle the diagnosis of the cancer in social situations,” Dr. Plutchik added. “How much information they should share and with whom they should share the information, everybody is different.”
Ultimately it comes down to what feels right. Loved ones supporting a cancer warrior are encouraged to respect the wishes of the cancer patient when it comes to disclosing their diagnosis.
Prioritizing Your Mental Health
When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and you suddenly find yourself filling the role of a caregiver, the lifestyle change can be jarring. Caregivers are often spouses, partners, adult children, parents, or trusted friends of the person living with cancer. It’s important to remember that many people welcome the role of caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems.
RELATED: Check Out SurvivorNet’s Resources on Mental Health
So what can caregivers do to make sure they are healthy, both mentally and physically, as well? We spoke to doctors, patient advocates, spiritual leaders, and caregivers who have been through cancer with someone they love dearly to round up some of the best advice.
And if you need help with finances, we provide resources you can consider to cope with the cancer bills. If your loved one has just been diagnosed and you are just starting your journey as a caregiver, here are the first steps you should take.
Don’t Hold in Your Feelings
Watching someone you care about struggle with illness is difficult enough, but to be suddenly dealing with the responsibility of caring for them can make the situation that much harder, particularly if you’re nervous you’re not qualified. While you, of course, want to do all you can for your loved one, it’s important to acknowledge your own needs as well.
“When you find yourself suddenly having to care for somebody, to be the primary lifeline for them, you very well could have mixed emotion,” Pastor Tom Evans, who cared for his own father as he went through Alzheimer’s, told SurvivorNet.
“Maybe it’s anger. Maybe this person never cared for you in the past, and now you have to do it for them. And maybe you’re gonna feel like you’re selfish when you need a break.”
Pastor Tom Evans Shares Advice For Managing Life As a Caregiver
Pastor Evans stressed that needing a break when you’re filling the role of caregiver is not selfish, it should be expected. No one can be a caregiver 24/7, 365 days a year.
“So, you need to find time where you’re not doing that and where others are helping you,” he said. “In those frustrations and that anger, take time to find someone to express that to, whether it’s a friend, whether it’s a pastor, whether it’s a neighbor, because as you work that out of your system, you’ll be better able to be there for them.”
Try ‘Realistic Optimism’
Negative thought patterns can make already difficult situations more of a challenge to handle. There is real power in positivity. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist, said when patients are struggling with some pervasive patterns of negative thinking, she often works with them to try to deconstruct that mindset.
“Take a look at your beliefs. Do you have any sort of fixed belief that may be counterproductive, that are impeding you from taking positive steps? So something that’s holding you back, thinking, oh, this always happens to me, or maybe this is something that’s always going to be haunting me, or following me,” Dr. Boardman explained to SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
Dr. Samantha Boardman On Being ‘Realistically Optimistic’
Dismantling these negative patterns of thinking can help you to be happier with yourself, and to be a better caregiver. Dr. Boardman refers to this mindset as being “realistically optimistic” about your situation.
Take Time for Yourself, Too
Everyone needs time for themselves and if you have been in the house caring for a loved one for weeks, or even months, it’s natural to begin to feel burdened. To avoid creating problems for your own health, try to take time for yourself as often as you can. This could be as simple as a 30-minute walk every morning, taking in a movie at a theatre a few times a month, or hitting the gym for a run once or twice a week.
Pastor Evans noted that trying to be a caregiver 24/7 will “break anybody.”
RELATED: Caregiving Can be an Opportunity for Healing
If you can’t, or don’t feel comfortable, leaving the person you are caring for alone for any significant amount of time, ask for help. Maybe you have a friend or family member who can relieve you of caregiving duties a few times a week so you can tend to your own needs.
If you are struggling to find someone to stay with the person you care for, your community may have options for respite care or sitter-companion services. These terms refer to someone who can come to your home, get to know the patient, and occasionally visit to relief you of caregiving duties for a short time.
Don’t Neglect Your Basic Needs
People who take on caregiving roles often find themselves neglecting their own basic needs. But you’ll be a better caregiver if you also prioritize caring for yourself. Taking care of your health, whether that be with diet, exercise, or making time for activities you enjoy, is still critically important.
Julie Bulger’s Tips For Caregivers
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet. Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax like taking a walk or going for a massage.
“…there’s a lot of opportunities for support virtually through educational resources, support communities,” she added. “You can talk to somebody. You can get therapy virtually now.”
Seek Professional Help If You Need It
When a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, and there should be no shame in that.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people respond to stressors in different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of caring for a loved one, there are many options that may be able to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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