North Carolina Couple Both Diagnosed With Breast Cancer. 50-Years Of Marriage, Their Multiple Cancer Fights

Her husband, David, 73, is no stranger to cancer. His first diagnosis came in the 1980s, when he learned he had sarcoma — a cancer that begins in the bones or soft tissues such as muscle, fat, or blood vessels, according to the National Cancer Institute.

He later faced non‑Hodgkin lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphocytes, the white blood cells that help power the immune system.

WATCH: The type of lymphoma you have matters.

“Non‑Hodgkin lymphoma is a big category,” Dr. Julie Vose of the University of Nebraska Medical Center previously explained to SurvivorNet. Doctors often classify these cancers by how quickly they grow.

“The two main classifications… are lymphomas that are more indolent and those that are more aggressive because those are treated very differently,” added Dr. Jennifer Crombie, a medical oncologist at the Dana‑Farber Cancer Institute.

Another key distinction is whether the lymphoma begins in B‑cells or T‑cells — two types of infection‑fighting lymphocytes. Roughly 85% of non‑Hodgkin lymphomas start in B‑cells, which produce antibodies that help the body recognize and destroy harmful invaders.

Through each of David’s earlier diagnoses, Pat stood by him. But last spring, their cancer journey took an unexpected and deeply personal turn. David discovered a pea‑sized lump in his chest.

“When I felt it, I said, ‘This is not normal,’” said David, an Army veteran and longtime firefighter.

Male breast cancer is rare, according to the National Cancer Institute — about 2,800 cases are expected this year, compared to nearly 298,000 in women — but it can be just as serious. Experts urge men to pay attention to changes such as lumps, swelling, or discomfort, especially since men aren’t routinely screened the way women are.

Within days of his discovery, David underwent treatment for male breast cancer, including a lumpectomy to remove the tumor and surrounding tissue.

WATCH: What’s Recovery Like After a Lumpectomy?

He already knew the importance of early detection. In 2009, he watched Pat go through her own breast cancer diagnosis after a routine mammogram revealed a deeply embedded tumor.

“They found my cancer early,” Pat said. “If it had grown to the point where I could’ve found it, it’d have been too late.”

After treatment, she says she was declared “cancer‑free” a year later. Their shared experiences have strengthened their bond, deepened their faith, and inspired them to speak out about early detection.

“We want to provide hope because good treatments, early detection, and faith in God have gotten us through,” Pat said.

David shares the same message: “If you have anything wrong with you, don’t put it off for a week or two, hoping it’ll go away.”

Understanding Male Breast Cancer

Like women, men have breast tissue and can develop breast cancer. Breast cancer starts when cells in the breast start growing out of control, typically forming a tumor that’s felt as a lump.

 

WATCH: Men Get Breast Cancer Too

A man’s risk of developing breast cancer may be higher if there’s a history of breast cancer in the family. Typically, male breast cancer manifests as lumps in the chest area. Factors like a patient’s race can impact the prognosis. Five types of standard treatment are used to treat breast cancer in men:

• Surgery for breast cancer in men mirrors the procedure in women. A modified radical mastectomy removes the whole breast with cancer. The result may involve removing the nipple, according to the National Cancer Institute.
• Chemotherapy involves cancer-killing drugs to prevent the cancer cells from growing. Chemo drugs are usually taken orally or intravenously.
• Hormone therapy involves removing hormones or blocking their ability to help cancer cells grow.
• In radiation therapy, high-energy beams such as X-rays are aimed at cancer cells to kill them.
• Targeted therapy treatment uses drugs designed to target specific cancer cells.

 

WATCH: Marc Futterweit shares his breast cancer journey.

When Marc Futterweit was told to get a mammogram by his doctor, like Roundtree, he, too, was in disbelief.

“I said, What do you mean by a mammogram?’ I don’t have breasts,” Futterweit recalled saying.

However, a second opinion from another physician confirmed Futterweit had breast cancer.

“When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t tell my wife. I thought I was holding it together,” Futterweit said.

When his family learned he was battling breast cancer, they supported him. Having a support group filled with loved ones is an important part of a cancer patient’s journey toward survivorship, according to experts SurvivorNet has spoken to.

He realized that with their support, having male breast cancer is nothing to be ashamed of.

“Men are basically standing in the shadows, they’re ashamed or embarrassed,” Futterweit says.

“Just remember, it’s nothing that you have done to cause you to get breast cancer. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not a woman’s disease,” he continued.

How To Help A Partner Diagnosed With Cancer

After a cancer diagnosis, it’s natural for spouses to grapple with a whirlwind of emotions — anger, grief, anxiety, and beyond. The journey ahead can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that a cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence. There are strategies to navigate uncertainty, find support, and face challenges with resilience.

Some popular approaches, backed by research and many anecdotal accounts, include:

• Talking to a therapist to share feelings you’re going through
• Having candid conversations with your loved one about the diagnosis
• Researching the disease together to learn about available treatment options
• Joining a support group or connecting with others who have gone through, or are going through, the same experience

WATCH: Glenn Torchia talks about how he was there for his wife, Millie, while she battled stage 4 lung cancer

Your Role As A Caregiver

SurvivorNet has spoken with a collection of expert oncologists, social workers, and patient advocates to provide a helpful list of how cancer caregivers can help throughout the treatment journey and beyond.

Attend Doctor Visits

Throughout the treatment process, there will be many occasions when the patient receives a large amount of information at once. As a caregiver, attending as many doctor visits as possible can be a huge help. This allows you to take notes on treatment options, protocols, lifestyle changes that may be needed, and more.

Connect With a Social Worker or Patient Navigator

Ask for the patient’s medical team to connect you with a patient navigator or social worker. Many hospitals and cancer centers have specialized staff available to connect you with additional resources, which may include arranging transportation to and from doctor appointments, assisting with insurance claims, and more.

WATCH: How Patient Navigators Can Help

“Patient navigators can function differently at different hospitals,” Dr. Kathie-Ann Joseph, a surgical oncologist at NYU Langone Health’s Perlmutter Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet.

“We have a really wonderful program at [NYU] where we use lay navigators, meaning they’re not nurses — although you can use nurses or social workers, that pretty much help newly diagnosed cancer patients through the continuum of care,” Dr. Joseph added.

Additional services patient navigators may provide include:

• Attending future appointments with you
• Providing an assessment for the next steps of care
• Assisting with housing, transportation, or immigration issues
• Helping with financial issues
• Providing direction on legal issues

Help the Patient Keep Track of Their Symptoms

As mind-boggling as a cancer diagnosis can be for a spouse or loved one, it’s likely more stressful for the patient.

Sometimes, it is easier for the caregiver to monitor the patient’s symptoms than for the patient. Try to maintain an open line of communication and encourage your loved one to share their feelings regularly to help monitor symptoms.

Let the Patient Speak for Themselves Whenever Possible

As a caregiver, your role is to be the best advocate possible for the patient. While assisting them with various tasks, it is essential to allow them to maintain a sense of independence whenever possible. Cancer caregivers can help keep track of symptoms, navigate finances, and even emotions — but they should also let the person they are caring for speak up about what they genuinely need throughout the process.

“Some of the best examples that I have seen in caregivers are those spouses or loved ones who really, almost sit back and allow the patient, or they want the patient to express what the patient feels first, rather than barging in,” gynecologic oncologist Dr. Jayanthi Lea told SurvivorNet.

“…Step back a little bit and let the patient speak for themselves. Let them express what they are feeling. That is so important for the patient’s overall quality of life and well-being,” Dr. Lea added.

When to Screen for Breast Cancer

The medical community has a broad consensus that women should have annual mammograms between the ages of 45 and 54. However, an independent panel of experts called the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) is saying that women should now start getting mammograms every other year at the age of 40, suggesting that this lowered age for breast cancer screening could save 19% more lives.

The American Cancer Society recommends getting a mammogram every other year for women 55 and older. However, women in this age group who want added reassurance can still get annual mammograms.

WATCH: Mammograms are still the best tool for detecting breast cancer.

Women with a strong family history of breast cancer, a genetic mutation known to increase the risk of breast cancer, such as a BRCA gene mutation, or a medical history, including chest radiation therapy before the age of 30, are considered at higher risk for breast cancer.

Experiencing menstruation at an early age (before 12) or having dense breasts can also put you into a high-risk category. If you are at a higher risk of developing breast cancer, you should begin screening earlier.

Regular Self-Exams Are Helpful In Between Mammograms

A self-breast exam is an easy way to monitor your breasts for abnormalities. It involves feeling the breast for swelling, bulging, or changes in the shape of the breast or nipple.

WATCH: How to perform a self-exam.

Checking for signs of redness, rashes, or discharge is also part of this exam. If anything is found that is concerning, you should contact your doctor. It’s important to note that self-exams should be done with regular mammograms.

Help Coping With a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

If you are facing a breast cancer diagnosis, your emotions are likely to run high, which is completely normal. Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says emotions are often fluid when coping with a diagnosis.

“The patient or person going through the stressful event should accept that emotions will be fluid. You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It’s also important for those you look to for support, whether that’s a therapist, friends, and family, or both, to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions,” Dr. Plutchik said.

WATCH: How to cope with complex and changing emotions.

If a stressful event affects how you think and feel, it may be time to seek mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking a support group, or many other approaches.

SurvivorNet experts suggest that women who need a little extra help coping with a breast cancer diagnosis.

• Let your family and close friends know, and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support, but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
• Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your thoughts throughout the day.
• Join a cancer support group. Groups in nearly every community offer opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn constructive insight from others who can tell you what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
• Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.

Questions To Ask Your Doctor

If you have a breast cancer screening coming up or have recently had one, you may have questions you want answered. SurvivorNet suggests the following questions to kickstart your conversation with your doctor.

• Do I have dense breasts?
• Do I need to undergo additional or more sensitive screening?
• How is my risk level being assessed?
• Will insurance cover additional screening if needed?

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.

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