Spice Girl Melanie B, Who Lost Her Dad To Multiple Myeloma Eight Years Ago, Turns 50— Coping With Grief & The Power of Milestones

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by “scary spice Mel B” (@officialmelb)

“Wow happy birthday you absolutely beautiful and legendary human xxx,” singer-songwriter Paloma Faith commented, along with Natasha Bedingfield, who wrote, “Love you so much ! Happy birthday beautiful wonderful queen.”

“7th Heaven” actress Beverly Mitchell also commented, “Happy birthday you magical human! Wishing you only [love] and laughter and everything you dream of! Love yo.”

Additionally, Mel B’s fellow Spice Girls also shared fun memories on their Instagram pages, like Emma Lee Bunton, also known as “Baby Spice,” who shared a photo of the two of them, writing, “Happy 50th @officialmelb! I’m not far behind you!!! From zig ah zig ahs to belly laughs. Hope you have the best day. Sending love and birthday hugs.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by emmaleebunton (@emmaleebunton)

Mel B On Losing Her Beloved Dad

After Mel B lost her dad on March 4, 2017, she took to Instagram to share a heartfelt post, and a photo of her holding her dad’s hands.

She captioned the tribute post, “It is with great sadness after a 5 year battle to multiple myeloma cancer our loving father Martin Brown passed away age 63 peacefully yesterday.

“Both of us his children were by his side and would like to say thank you to St Gemma’s and all the doctors and nurses for there amazing care and support over the years.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by “scary spice Mel B” (@officialmelb)

She concluded, “Please respect our privacy and let us as a united family grieve With love and respect. Melanie and Danielle Brown x.

“Be Free Dad.”

About two years later, on May 28, 2019, Mel B also shared another sweet post, in memory of her dad on his birthday.

She wrote alongside a photo of her smiling next to her dad, “Happy birthday dad I’m missing you more now than ever,I really really am in the most amount of pain, it is actually unbearable!!

“But I do wish you could see me now happy and strong I am now thank god, I know you would be sooo proud of me and of Danielle.”

Mel B continued, “We have morphed into you now big time we don’t deal with people who hurt us in life and we stick together as a family thanks to you dad.

“I love you sooo much, I just wish I could of had one more day one more cuddle that’s all #imissyou.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by “scary spice Mel B” (@officialmelb)

Moving Through Grief

Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Mel B has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.

While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief, as can turning to faith.

Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.

Dealing With Grief After a Cancer Diagnosis

It’s important to remember that anxiety and fear are also totally normal reactions to the news of cancer, or the loss of a loved one, and acknowledging these emotions can be therapeutic and important to the healing process.

“I think the most important advice I would give to someone who has just received a cancer diagnosis is to find people whom they find as a source of support. To allow themselves to go through all of the different emotional reactions to that news,” said Dr. Susan Parsons, Director of the Center for Health Solutions/Center on Child and Family Outcomes at Tufts Medical Center, in a prior interview with SurvivorNet.

Fear, Anger, Anxiety You’re Entitled To Your Emotions

“The anger, the frustration, the fear. The disappointment. Whatever those emotions are, figure out what’s important to you and find those people that can help you realize that,” Dr. Parsons explained.

In times of frustration, it can be useful to a little bit of direction on specific ways to deal with it. A few of the most common ways to deal with fear and anxiety after a cancer diagnosis, that have helped people in the SurvivorNet community in the past, include:

1. Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
2. Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your different thoughts throughout the day.
3. Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn incredibly helpful insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
4. Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.

Understanding Multiple Myeloma

Multiple myeloma is a rare and incurable type of blood cancer. When you have this cancer, white blood cells called plasma cells (the cells that make antibodies to fight infections) in your bone marrow grow out of proportion to healthy cells. Those abnormal cells leave less room for the healthy blood cells your body needs to fight infections. They can also spread to other parts of your body and cause problems with organs like your kidneys.

Patient Education is Key — Head of Hematology at Johnson & Johnson On Getting Multiple Myeloma Patients Access to Good Information & Care
RELATED: When Multiple Myeloma Returns, SurvivorNet’s Resources

Sometimes, doctors find multiple myeloma while doing a blood test to look for another condition or when trying to find out what’s causing a patient’s unexplained symptoms.

RELATED: ‘First Study of its Kind’ Shows Diet Can Delay Progression of Cancer — Understanding Multiple Myeloma & The Diseases That Precede It

Doctors use blood and urine tests and imaging tests, such as X-rays or MRIs, to help diagnose multiple myeloma and to guide treatment options. Ultimately, a bone marrow biopsy will confirm the diagnosis.

RELATED: Hematologist and SurvivorNet advisor, Dr. Nina Shah, helps you understand this rare cancer

Multiple myeloma symptoms can range from tiredness, nausea and constipation. Other symptoms may include:

• Weakness, dizziness, and shortness of breath, which are signs of a low red blood cell count, are called anemia.
• Bone pain, which could be a sign of a fracture.
• Urinating too much or too little, muscle cramps, nausea, and vomiting are symptoms of kidney failure.
• Confusion is caused by too much calcium in the blood.
• Frequent infections because you have too few white blood cells to fight them.

It’s important to know that these symptoms could be attributed to other conditions. If you experience any of these symptoms or are concerned about any changes to your body, you should address them promptly with your doctor.

Hematologist-oncologist Dr. Adam Cohen lays out your options during the maintenance phase of treatment

Getting a Diagnosis

Sometimes doctors find multiple myeloma while doing a blood test to look for another condition, or when trying to find out what’s causing a patient’s unexplained symptoms.

According to SurvivorNet’s experts, blood tests are also the way your doctor might learn that you have smoldering multiple myeloma or MGUS, because these conditions don’t usually cause symptoms. Smoldering multiple myeloma and MGUS aren’t cancer, but they can sometimes turn into cancer.

The odds that either condition will become cancer are very small, but to be safe, your doctor will probably check you more closely with blood and urine tests, and sometimes a bone marrow biopsy–removing and testing a small sample of the spongy material inside your bones. These tests can help monitor you for changes that signal you’ve switched over to multiple myeloma, and that you need to start treatment for this cancer. You may also need a bone marrow biopsy to help your doctor make the initial diagnosis.

Doctors use blood and urine tests and imaging tests such as X-ray or MRI to help diagnose multiple myeloma and to guide treatment options. Ultimately, a bone marrow biopsy will confirm the diagnosis.

Monitoring your bone strength and health over time will help your doctors understand how, or if, your disease is progressing.

Treatment Options For Multiple Myeloma

Not everyone with multiple myeloma needs treatment right away. If you have smoldering multiple myeloma, your doctor might simply monitor you regularly, to see if your disease progresses.

If you develop symptoms or your doctor thinks you need treatment, there are many options.  Which of these treatments you receive, and how they are sequenced, depend on several factors, and on whether your treatment team thinks you are a good candidate for a bone marrow transplant.

Bone Marrow (Stem Cell) Transplant

This is also known as a stem cell transplant. It is a procedure to replace diseased bone marrow with healthy bone marrow without myeloma cells. Based on multiple factors, your doctor may decide that a stem cell transplant is best for you. The transplant process can be involved and requires multiple steps. Be sure to discuss this with your treating team to understand what is involved and what options are available.

If you’re not a good candidate for chemotherapy, your treatment options include targeted therapies, biologics, and steroids.

Targeted Therapy

Targeted therapy is now available for patients with multiple myeloma, and targets abnormalities in myeloma cells that allow the cancer to survive. Examples of targeted agents your doctor may use include bortezomib (Velcade), carfilzomib (Kyprolis), and ixazomib (Sarclisa). These drugs are either given in a pill or through an IV, and cause myeloma cells to die by preventing the breakdown of certain proteins in myeloma cells. You doctor may also use other targeted agents in the class of medications known as monoclonal antibodies.

Biologic Therapy

Biologic therapy is another class of medication your treatment team may use to treat your myeloma. These medications use your bodys immune system to help fight and kill myeloma cells. This class of medication is most often given in pill form and include medications such as thalidomide (Thalidomid), lenalidomide (Revlimid), and pomalidomide (Pomalyst).

Chemotherapy

Sometimes your treatment team may recommend chemotherapy to treat your myeloma. Chemotherapy uses strong medicine to target cancer cells throughout your body. If your doctor recommends a bone marrow transplant high doses of chemotherapy are used for this purpose.

Steroids

Occasionally, doctors may use corticosteroids such as dexamethasone or prednisone as part of your treatment. Steroids are different from chemotherapy, targeted therapy, and biologic therapy. They work to reduce inflammation throughout your body. Steroids are given as a pill, and are also active against myeloma cells.

Radiation

Radiation uses high-dose X-rays to stop cancer cells from dividing. It is sometimes used to target myeloma in specific areas that may be causing you issues or pain. It is also used if there are tumors or deposits of myeloma cells that need to be treated, such as a plasmacytoma — a tumor made of abnormal plasma cells — of the bone.

Sometimes the cancer can return, or relapse after treatment. If this happens, your doctor can put you on one of the treatments you’ve already tried again, try a new treatment, or recommend that you enroll in a clinical trial.

Any of these treatments can cause side effects, which may include nerve pain and fatigue. Your doctor can adjust your medication if you do have side effects. In general, you should start to feel better once your treatment starts to work.

Extending Your Lifespan With Multiple Myeloma

Then you’ll ultimately reach the maintenance phase of treatment. Now that your doctor has gotten your cancer under control, from here the goal is to keep your disease stable and to maintain your quality of life. Which type of maintenance therapy you get, and what prognosis you can expect, will depend on whether your doctor determines that your multiple myeloma is standard risk or high risk.

One of SurvivorNet’s experts describes the maintenance process for this disease as similar to lawn care. Once you care for your lawn and it’s no longer overgrown (that’s the initial treatment), it will need some tending but with that attention (such as low doses of maintenance drugs), it can remain healthy.

Why the many phases of multiple myeloma are like caring for your lawn, says hematologic cancer specialist, Dr. Sid Ganguly

Sometimes this disease will return, even when you’re on maintenance therapies. You’ll still have treatments available if this happens.

Though it can be daunting to choose treatments for relapsed multiple myeloma, the medical experts at SurvivorNet are here to help you make sense of them. Remember that you do have options, and that the goal which becomes more achievable with each new treatment that’s introduced is to preserve your quality of life and extend your lifespan.

Questions for Your Doctor

If you are facing a multiple myeloma diagnosis, here are some questions to help you begin the conversation with your doctor:

• What stage is my multiple myeloma?
• What are my treatment options?
• What are the possible side effects of your recommended treatment?
• Who will be part of my healthcare team, and what does each member do?
• Can you refer me to a social worker or psychologist who can help me cope with my diagnosis?

Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.